so with all of these answered prayers and the overwhelming love i have felt what will my response be… is what i feel God asking me… well i truly feel lead to share that wonderful love with others young and old.. and i have been able to do so and it has been so rewarding… i have loved loving ppl.. as corning as that may sound it’s the truth.. its been a good while since i have felt complete in my relationship with Christ… and i can honestly say i have begun the journey to completion.. i can’t say for sure that it is complete nor will it ever be while here on earth. thats the beauty and the hope we have in heaven! that our love for him will be complete because we will be complete in him by then..

today i have the privileged of attending a staff meeting for my church SeaCoast in charleston, sc… my church is one of twelve campuses and once a month they gather.. and today one of our pastors spoke on 2 Peter 1:5 : which reads:

⁵For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. ⁸For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

he spoke specially on verses five through seven… and how each is so import to foster each.. and how they are bound in love.. and so many other things i have heard, read, and just seen has been so amazingly filled with love.. my heart is over flowing with love.. and its been a good long while since its been this way.. and i wanted t give God the glory honor and praise for without him i wouldnt be where i am today! i plan to foster these areas to only increase my love for him and his people… so thats how i desire to answer the knock.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, ¹⁵from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. ¹⁶I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

²⁰Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

as i read my devotional book and bible a reoccurring theme that God spoke to me was that i will take your weaknesses and make you strong and that i love you more than you will ever know.  I found myself crying and crying and crying because of how two things i have the most trouble with here on this earth.. God has both of them under control.. and my heart breaks for every time i doubt him…. what an amazing God we have to love a girl who unworthy of his time, that he will show me in his word how much the thoughts in my mind are not of him… im breaking before a God who i know will put me back together… and its the only way im breaking in the first place.. all this to get to point of the blog.

This time of the year is when geese begin to mate and have little goslings. In my home town i see them all over the place, from parks to neighborhoods to on the side of an extremely busy roads.  As you know a family consists of a goose, a gander, and the gosling. The goose can give birth to one to up to seven (the most i have ever seen). Most of the babies dont make it to become to large for one reason or another, but those who do make it begin a journey that i have noticed to be an amazing one.

For the next 2-3 months the mother and father are earth-bound(for baby geese cant fly until 6 weeks old)… walking everywhere with their young… the other day i was driving through a neighborhood.. and as i driving i came up on a family. the dad was standing in the street and the mother and her children were grazing down the hill a good 2 ft from where the dad was… as i approached him he didnt move and just stood there.. and the mother and her young continued on as nothing was wrong… he continued to move with them but at a safe distance as to keep watch from everything.  That next day i visited a park near my home with my dog.  There was at least 4 families by the pond and as my dog and i approach about 5 ft away all the dads made a call and like clock work the mothers and babies stood up and moved into the water… it was amazing..

As i was watching them i could only imagine the God who created them.. how complex something as the family of geese were created. How even the male and female are partners for life, they return to the place where they were born to find a mate, and fly in flocks for thousands of miles.  It’s just simply amazing to me. If a God who took that much time on them, how much more time He took on me and His plan for my life.  so the next time you see a family of geese remember how much God cares about His creation and you and i are apart of that! God Bless You!

Ps. I guess that how the slogan got started because the gander (father goose) always is on the watch!

I have done my fair share of reading lately and am currently reading a book called Crazy Love (I highly suggest it).  It is a book about the “crazy” love that our Abba Father has for us…. his dear dear children… there are so many statements that just really pierced my heart.. my soul within has been challenged and I’m just now half way through the book… so i feel like i will have to write another blog just to explain how the whole book impacted my life.. side note sorry… now back to what I had felt lead to write about.

Every time I hear Jesus Paid it All… my heart is broken over and over again… and all i can do is stand in complete awe… The song talks about how Jesus has paid it all for us and how our sin has left a crimson stain on us… but we are washed as white as snow…. snow has been quite relevant in my life this winter for i have seen more snow the past 3 months then i have seen my entire life.. when you think about snow it’s quite a phenomenon within itself something so beautiful can fall from the sky… how just the right temperature can transform a drop of rain to a snow flake.. and how no two snowflakes look the same…and yet as beautiful as snow is… it can be so easily altered.

Imagine with me for a minute if i were to pour a liquid of some kind on a pile of snow the color of crimson (deep red).  The impact that color would have on that pile would be permanent… nothing you or i did could change the color of the snow back to the same pure white it once was… Now can you imagine the sin the we commit permanently stains us… we can never return to way we once were before sin. But unlike the snow…. we are washed clean.. clean of every crimson stain that covers us… and we are washed as white as snow…

Jesus has paid it all to remove these stains… and when i think about being as white as snow before my Lord’s eyes… it’s a concept that is hard to grasp.. i know this concept might seem elementary, but my life has forever been changed because of the love… this sacrifice.. that saved a person such as myself.. and it’s not just a onetime thing.. it’s for all eternity… its life ever lasting… not only did He die on the cross for me he raised himself from the dead.. and has prepared a place for me in Heaven..

I’m still in awe of how a God who created the Heavens and the Earth… cares so much about me to wash away all my sins and allow me to be as white as snow…. it challenges me to continue to see how i can serve this year for His Glory.

here is the song i was talking about…

About a month ago i entered into a dating relationship and i discovered where he had spent the first few years of his life, due to his parents being missionaries.  Knowing him for 3 years and not knowing this tad bit of information left me interested in knowing more.

Before dating my boyfriend i had also heard stories about this country of which my team Chaplin had been born, her parents also being missionaries there.  She now has family there and is in the process of adopting a little boy from this country as well.  The people connected with this country do not stop there… there are at least 5 others present on my college campus alone who have connections with this beautiful country.

By now im sure you are wondering why the names of this people and the country of which i speak of have not been mentioned.  For their identity is not at stake nor is the country one of secret mission work, but it is a country that has been shaken.

Yesterday afternoon every news channel was reporting the tragedy that took place in Haiti.  All of the people above have one passion and heart cry for the country and people of Haiti.  My heart is breaking over and over again.  I have close friends on campus who are awaiting to hear if their families have been found, others who are breathing a sigh of relief that their friends and families are safe, and others who have received news that their friends are no longer with us here on earth.

Today for almost an hour one campus in a small town in South Carolina got on their face before God and cried out to Him for the Haitians affected by such a tragic event.   As i sit and process such news only tears of compassion fill my eyes, my heart yearns to answer the cries of the people.

This blog post will not be the most interesting to read nor is it the most inspirational, but one written out of hope.  One written to ask for your prayers and your support.  All over the internet there are ways that everyone can help.  You can text 2 different numbers and give $5-$10…you can visit websites such as World Vision and give money directly to help with relief.  You can partner with your church and send relief packages or even send out a team to physically help out.

My heart is bleeding for these people and i know nothing about them other than they are dear children of God.. and they are in dire need of our help.  I plan on giving a certain amount to World Vision, my prayers, and fasting for the next month to see relief in the country of Haiti.

This is no guilt trip.. nor plead of help.. nor request to drop everything and give, but one of pure obedience.  If God is tugging on  your heart you will know it… my only request is that you listen and react..

2 Corinthians 4:6

⁶For God Who said, Let light shine out of darkness, has shone in our hearts so as [to beam forth] the Light for the illumination of the knowledge of the majesty and glory of God [as it is manifest in the Person and is revealed] in the face of Jesus Christ (the Messiah).

some have asked me what to do you hope to be doing in the next 5 to 10 years.. and some ask if you could go back to an earlier time in your life would you… well there is a small part of me that wishes i could push the fast forward button and see where i would be in 10 years.. but at the same time there will be people who are in my life now that wont be in here in 10 years.. such as grandparents and friends i have with me in college.  also i were to go back into the days of my early childhood.. i really dont wish to grow up all over again…

so that leaves me to the present.. to today where all seems right in my world at least.  Sure i have had some extreme ups and downs this semester… but where im currently at in life.. its pretty stinking amazing.. and all i want to do is PUSH THE PAUSE BUTTON.. if i could push that one button i could stay in college, with my friends, and have my parents and grandparents only a phone call away.  I could still travel home in a matter of 2 hrs and still be in the same hometown as my sister. 

I could hang out in the lobby, watch movies, and go shopping with best friends.  I could continue to learn and pull all nighters to get the job done because i procrastinated.. haha..

I could still only have a cell phone bill that coast less that 40 dollars and have a room all to my self with no worries of the lights or water being turned off… i would say life doesnt get much better than this.. but yet it does and it will.

while i wish to remain in this present bubble that i am in.. everything in me is super excited about graduating in a year and half.. A YEAR AND HALF… where did time GO?!?! I remember like it was yesterday that i even started this whole blog.. and now im 26 posts in and God is still changing my heart and making it new every single day…

I’m at a point in my life where only God knows whats in store for me.  where as with the past 14 years of schooling have promised me that every year i return… but that is quickly coming to an end.. for my graduating class of 06′ is graduating from college this coming may.. and if somethings hadn’t gone the way they did i would be entering into the world in a matter of months.. my mind is simply blown away at all that has happened and all this in store!

My heart jumps for joy and my love for Christ is growing daily! I’m on a new path and there is no turning back and there is not skipping forward.. but all i can see is the current footprints im making in the sand beneath me.  There is no controller to my life so all im left with is letting it play.

Being a children’s ministry major i absolutely LOVE to watch them interact with the world.  Just recently i attended a meeting in which we discussed how as adults we tend to shut out those that truly care about our feelings and our well-being. But comparatively so as a child it is the polar opposite of such an action…  For when each of us entered into this world we depended upon our parent or guardians completely with every aspect of our lives.  For the first year there was nothing that we could do on our own.  But as time continued each one of us became more independent and searched the world around us.  As each new exploration took place, we wanted nothing more than for someone anyone to hear our stories.  We could tug on pant legs and shirt sleeves only to receive a short minute or two of attention.  But then quickly overlooked…Pouting would then follow, and we were left feeling sad and unwanted. 

Many years pass and this whole ritual is quickly forgotten.  In fact if anyone even asks how we are doing or if something is indeed wrong we quickly shut them down.  We don’t want anyone to know what our life journey is like.. for we are fearful of what may come out of such a conversation.  As teenagers and adults we build these HUGE walls that no one can break down.  We become that parent or guardian that showed no interest in your stories.

Why does this cycle take place?  Why do we shield ourselves from friends and family that you once so desperately begged attention from? Why do we lose this inner child, what steers us away from such an amazing love for life and those around us to know what God is doing in our lives… or the struggles in which we face every day.

Instead of running to mama, the one who kisses our boo boo’s.. and answers all of dire questions of what is this and what is that…we find ourselves screaming words of hate and confusion…we run in the complete opposite direction of which we really started from…

God is calling us to run not only to Him but to our fellow brothers and sisters and Christ.  We were not called to experience this journey alone.  We are called to love like we are children.. and take a moment and pull on the pant leg of a friend.. and tell them how God has changed your life..

have you ever just sat and wondered why the people in your life are there…. why they come and go or come and stay.. why they build you up. and then sometimes just honestly let you down… well the past few months i have been doing a lot of wondering.. about life in general.. i have been confused.. broken… disappointed.. shocked… loved… hurt…

my emotions indeed are running wild i try to find balance with how i should feel.. or how i truly do feel. asking honest questions to my creator, because i just cant understand.  when you heart wants something so bad, but yet its just not what needs to take place at this moment in time.. but why.. this year has been quite a tough one on so many levels

this world is such a hard place sometimes.. and being an emotional person as i am i have in return have experienced some extreme lows and have pressed into God, but i am still very tender and hurt… and im ready to be healed… im ready..

Why since you’ve wounded my heart
Don’t You heal it?
Why don’t You heal?
And why since you’ve stolen my heart,
Do you leave it so?
Oh this heart of stone.

Why don’t you carry away my heart
You have stolen and left here broken
Why don’t you carry away my heart
Already taken

Awaken the dawning of a new heart
Where stone begins to bleed
For the arrow of God that runs through me
Leaves me in need
Here in need

Awaken

How long? How long? How long?

Over the past few months all i have seen and heard is LOVE.. from sermons… songs… themes… movements.. etc.

Just today i attended a service and the sermon was on Love or Duty?… Leeland just put out a new cd called Love is on the Move… Hillsong put together a cd called faith, hope, and love.. Jason Gray came out with a song More Like Falling in Love… Acquire the Fire’s theme this year is Love is the Great Reversal.. which is not the first time this theme has been presented..Needtobreathe came out with a song called Let Us Love…. not only have Christians expressed the importance of love but also secular venues and artists…

but all i can do is just sit here…. and feel as though the answer is being screamed at the top of its lunges!!! LOVE IS HERE!!! open your eyes and ears and hear what the Lord has to say… God is LOVE… why have we lost the site of this?.. why do i myself look for love outside of God’s love?

Real faith is expresses itself through love… so my heart has yet been changed again..

its time.. to step up and empower ourself with the the most amazing gift God has to offer to His children!

We’re living to fast
Caught up in satisfaction
We’re missing so much
Don’t even know we’re disconected

But Where is the love that makes us stronger
Binds the hearts of every color
In the end we are all God’s children
We gotta Learn To Love

Need action for resolution
We need a revolution
Need to come close to each other
one love of sisters and brother

But Where is the love that makes us stronger
Binds the hearts of every color
In the end we are all God’s children
We gotta Learn To

Pray for each other
stand in together
we’ll see his kingdom come
shinning like the sun
Something is stirring
A new day is calling
Jesus Is the king
We lift our voice and sing

But Where is the love that makes us stronger
Binds the hearts of every color
In the end we are all God’s children
We gotta Learn To Love

In the end we are all God’s children
We gotta Learn To Love

We gotta Learn to Love

Not too long ago i had the chance of becoming a resident assistant at the college in which i attend. Stepping into this new chapter of my life was a bit scary at first, because being unaware of what to expect and what was expected of you was a little overwhelming.

Now into my 2nd week… God has taught me so so so much about the concept of an open door.

In Matthew 7:7-8,  “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

As an RA we strive to always be available to those around us, not only to our close friends but in my case the wonderful ladies on my hall. God spoke to me in this area of my life and through the ladies on my hall Matthew 7:7-8 hit home pretty hard, and this passage became pretty personal.

Last week one of the girls came to my door and needed a helping hand. She had to knock in order for me to know she was there, and because of that first knock a relationship had been created.  A few days passed and my door was propped open at this time. She return and stepped through and we had a short conversation and she once again left and continued on with her day. But she now knows im only a knock away from being there for her.

But not only does this apply to the ladies on my hall but it applies to every single human here on this earth.  there is a “door” that must be knocked upon to inter into a relationship with God, and the word promises that once the door is knocked upon there WILL be an answer. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. It is up to us to take that first step, to be brave enough to walk up to the door and begin an amazing relationship with Him.  and once that door is open it will remain open!! there will no longer be a knock that separates you from Him. You can just walk right in and carry on a conversation with the Lord God Almighty.  It remain forever and always open.. and because of this my heart is being made new. For i know now the amazing feeling God experiences every time we take the chance and knock…

2 months have past and for the first time in years i didnt venture into another country or another way of life.. but instead stayed in my beloved city… I had high hopes and plans for this summer.. filled with volunteering, working, and spending some much needed quality time with friends and family.. but to be honest as much with the world.. nothing goes quite according to plan.

I did volunteer.. not as much as i would have hoped.. worked again not as much as i would have hoped.. but i did spend some much needed quality time with friends and family… This summer i made some friends that i know i will have for a life time.. impacted lives through my church that i will cherish forever… and God opened my eyes wide to things i never thought could be possible. 

I expressed truths to people that i never thought i would have the courage to do… i befriended people i NEVER thought i would cross paths.. shared my Christian belief.. and prayed for those who were struggling that were so near and dear to me.. I saw great success.. and also great failure… I took long walks, got sun burnt, and ran enough to shorten my breathe… made memories with my beloved dog…

Saw my sister grow up get and job and drive… missed having close near by… read 2 books.. dream a little..and watched the sunset almost every night. Ate enough pizza to get me though the next six months! Established A LOT of inside jokes… went to the movies.

I become stronger inside and out… and pushed myself harder physically then i ever have before… and now its my junior year and a lot of excitement fills my spirit.. but also pretty nervous to see how things will play out…. God has a lot in store this year i have a feeling… I couldnt be more ready for the this week to come and go.. and come december a greater adventure awaits me..

So to say the least my summer lived up to all the rest despite me just resting in the fact i was supposed to remain here in the US..

So cheers to you summer of 2009~! it was a great one!