getting lost in the crowd
well i really have no idea what i want to write but its been almost a month since the last time i wrote a blog.. and i feel like i should try and write something…
well tonight i experience something that put a lot of things into perspective… i discovered the feeling of being lost in the crowd.. i have never really felt this way… but for a span of an hour i felt lost… disengaged…. but i began to think pretty hard about this feeling.. and this is what came to mind..
so whenever someone is looking for a place to belong.. it can be anywhere.. but lets narrow it down to the church or that of Christianity. when someone is looking for a place to belong.. they want to connect on a level that is achievable.. something as personal as possible.. they dont want it to be in their face.. but they do want someone to care…. but when things become crazy and confusing.. they get pushed aside.. they become another face in the crowd.. because every else knows what is going on and where to go from here.. but when your that someone who is searching… u want to follow what feels best.. and that leads you into one direction.. but yet at the same time the group is going in another… its a complicated feeling. but when you discover for yourself what it feels like.. u play the moment back through your head multiple times.. it was different.. trying to figure out how u could change things… but it wasnt ur job or duty to do so.. it was up to “them” to make the difference.. to reach out to you.. but because of the bliss of life and everything else.. they forget.. they get caught up in the moment..and we honestly leave u behind..
so i want to make a public apology for all of those who at some point in their life have felt “lost in the crowd.” I’m sorry as a congregation of Christians we have not done a better job of protecting you from such a feeling of hurt and disbelief. so once again i am sorry..and i hope you can forgive us of our mistakes. for we are not perfect… dispite the way we may seem.
